THE WAY WE WERE
 10 November 1960



I am an artist,a woman I love,use men the way they love and use me.
Ari was successful I wanted him to be my financial advisor and keep
Titta as my agent.
It did not work,the old grouch wanted all or nothing,to remain in full
control.I was his
woman,my career,my soul,my voice were his raison d'etre,it's a fact
that after him my career took a plunge and never recovered.Oh ! How I
envied Joan Sutherland and Elizabeth Scharszkopf,they have Richard and
Walter two musicians.
Titta loved me,wanted to market my voice,he was shrewd,greedy,tough and
dishonest.With my money made huge investments under his sole
name,I trusted him totally,didn't even have a bank account,after the scandal of
Rome I realised too late that he was no longer the best impresario for
me, he was very good when I was on my way to the top, but not good
enough for the Diva,fighting to stay afloat with an ailing voice,he
could not deal with my vocal crisis.I know my place in history,what I
achieved,in 1958 I desperately sought to repair my voice,I needed to
rest,heal and recover from exhaustion,chronic fatigue,Titta kept
booking, and booking he was a businessman obsessed with money.
We separated after ten years and split some $ 10 million,he knew how
to market my voice,invest for ten years I was happy,we had a good
life,enjoy everything that money and fame offer.We went to the best
resorts as invited guests,Titta never picked up the tabs,we never ate
at home were always guests of honour,at home he did my manicure and
pedicure,Consuelo our cook only made coffee,was my masseuse and
cleaning lady,Bruna our chambermaid,was my hairdresser,my manicure and
pedicure,Ferruccio our chauffeur was maitre d',bodyguard,and
gardener.The three of them did all the household chores.After years of
poverty and struggles we saved and saved,cut corners were afraid to be
poor again.

I was obese,looked awful,was desperate,unhappy.I wanted to act,dreamed
of inaccessible horizons,saw Roman holiday ,cried and despaired,wanted
to be Audrey,to be slim,georgous like her.In Verona one day on my way
to class with Cussati,I met Josefina,a Tarot cards reader and a
healer.
She heard me,loved my voice.
--- Do as I say, the future is in your hands,we make our life with our
hands.I did as she suggested,I felt different,all the fat melt,went
away, slowly but surely.I became a
different woman, felt better,felt as never felt
before,light,free.Another  world was now open to me, the universe of
beauty, I was no longer the fat Greek, the singer.I became conscious
of my beauty,knew who I was, La Callas,the woman.

 I went to Biki,her son-in-law  Alain Reunaud  designed my
wardrobe,the Queen of La
Scalla wanted to be Queen of the Jet Set.For the first time I felt
confident,happy and could hold my own with the Beau Monde, a queen
amond the contessas, the princessas.

VICTORY DAYS CALLAS NIGHTS

ANNA BOLENA  :V Days C Nights
4 April 1957

I was determined,nights that remain in the human consciousness,my V Days, my C Nights.It happened to be Bolena,Luchino's Traviata and Sonnambula were sublime,but not good enough,they were near genius.

I sensed that Bolena was going to be it.

 I was Visconti's fourth Scala production,Gianandrea Gavazzeni conducted,Giulietta Simionato was  Jane Seymour,Nicola Benois designs were magnificent,all shades of grey to 

complement the music and the Queen's etats d'ame,Anna 's last days, love and despair,her wounded pride,a mother,a Queen in love dies from the hands of the king who swore her eternal love.A historic figure,I wanted to do her justice,pride and splendour in everything she did,to sing and act with fury,beyond anyone's imagination, capability,past,present or future.I prayed,opened my channels,felt the emprise,the power within me.Night after night I was possessed by the demon of music,my Bolenas belong to the history of music.

PSYCHIC HEALING AND VOICE LOSS.

VOICE LOSS : THERE WAS A CURE
 October 1961

When I lost my voice I didn't do anything about it,was too obsessed
with Ari,wanted to get pregnant,to be his wife.I was possessed by the demon of music, the day I met him I became under his Emprise, possessed by his own demon, the demon of sex.
My voice is the most important thing in my life,I have only that,friends in Paris and fans from all over the world who knew and cared mentioned the famous herbalist Maurice Messegue ,in Fleurance,south west  of France,others suggested the great Hungarian healer Oskar Estebany in Montreal,and Serge Alalouf in Toulouse,they were the greatest in their field,the healers of the day,Estebany and Alalouf were tested by most universities and their healing energies were confirmed,Messegue was the healer of the day, a medical herbalist who used a pendulum to diagnose and gave his own herbal preparations,osmosis , soaking your feet and hands his methoD was unique and powerful, among his clients the Princess Margaret and Madane de Gaulle the wife of the French President.They could have helped, I was too busy,too obsessed with Ari and the Jet Set.
At the same time the Opera de Paris wants me to become their Queen,to make Palais Garnier another Callas' home. Carmen,Dalila,Juliette,wonderful mezzo parts,or anything I care to
choose,French like Italian was created for singing,I wanted to do
it,the will was there,but not the strength,the energy,I was
chronically tired.
 And  I love Ari,I am not men crazy like they say,I was,am and will always
be music crazy,possessed by that glorious demon of sound, will never
sacrifice my voice,my career for anything nor anyone,certainly not for
Ari,I took him back after Jackie,didn't have the choice,didn't have
anyone else at the time.
I could no longer sing,I alone knew why,not the critics,not Lord
Harewood,not Franco nor the Pope,I alone knew,was too ill to fight
 destiny.I lost my voice because of the inflammation of the vocal
cords,which makes singing extremely painful ,inflammation is the first
sign of illness,any illness as they say,at the time I took too many
medications,for chronic fatigue,low blood pressure,to sleep,to wake up
in the morning ,they weakened  my immune system,so inflammation sets in 

I am a woman alone,then harassed by the French Press, L' Opera de Paris,Pathe Marconi and the movie houses

--- Would I make a movie, my life on film perhaps  ?
--- Would I record some French operas, anything I care to choose ?

TENNYSON

But what am I ?
 A woman crying in the night
A woman crying for the light
And with no voice but a  cry

I lost my voice, I lost Ari, what is left for me, only pain 

SIRMIONE:MEMORIES OF HAPPY DAYS

I have so much nostalgia for Sirmione,lived there many happy
days.People come to town for the lake and La Callas's villa.Sirmione
has its olive grove,the most fragrant oil in the world,after moving to Paris
 I have it sent to me month after month.
The perfect place to live and rest,when in Sirmione I do what visitors
do,enjoy the Lake,sailing,swimming,La Dolce Vita.For us it was
convenient,less than two hours drive from Milan,and close to Verona
where our hearts met.

Titta bought an eighteenth century house,renovated it,has a garden with gorgeous
white and red roses,a small orchard,and Acadia's herb garden where
she grows parsley,garlic,all sorts of  herbs,our cook Consuelo didn't
manage to grow red cayenne pepper.It was the best country home for
us,the people of Sirmione respected our privacy,never asked for autograph,I
loved them for that .

Tonight it rains in Paris,very romantic in movies,a killer for
people with arthritis,Bruna had excruciating pains,thought of taking
her and Consuelo to Sirmione for a Spa week.They say their  salty waters contain
sulphure,bromine, iodine,whatever they are they work
wonders,feel so much better each time I go there.I hate the exercises,love massage after my bath.
We packed,booked,were ready to go,called Olympic Airways for
tickets,Ari refused to let us go

---- If you leave now don't bother to come back,I will be in Paris
next week,you wait for me.

They say I live in a mental fog,lost in the world of music.Franco
dropped by,we talked about him work and mine

--- Want to make a movie here,their Roman ruins
--- Never heard of them
--- You live here ...
--- I am busy with my music,don't go anywhere except to take the waters,and
back and forth Milan-Sirmione
--- The Catullo Caves are the most important archaeological finds from
the Roman era,north of Italy,people come from all over the world for them
--- I thought they came for me 
--- I came for Traviata,I promise a phenomenal success,the film will immortalise
you on film
--- I don' t want to sing, too busy
--- We could use any recording 
--- Let's me think it over,I want to take Ari's advise
--- Maria, the time is now

Zeffirelli was right,I asked Ari, told me to wait, will get me a better deal, more money,in the end we never made Traviata,I was famous enough, didn't want me to be more famous,hurt his ego.Why do we love men that destroy us?

TEA AND SYMPATHY

 10 August 1968
TEA AND SYMPATHY

She did well to marry him, he is handsome as Croesus, I wish them
well the worst, La Callas casts a spell ,see what will happen.
We met a second time,the day Ari kicked me out,my last day on the Christina.
It was not a set-up,Ari is sadistic but he would not dare that one.
An encounter that I wished it never happened,I was at the airport with
Larry waiting for the first flight out of Greece and there she was in
the VIP Lounge.It was four in the afternoon,Larry ordered Tea
,cucumber and smoked salmond sandwiches,scones with clotted cream and
jam and Battenberg cake, all served on a tiered stand, very
proper,very British,couldn't eat a thing nor she.

JACKIE
   Miss Callas, I understand your anger,I heard what you said ,the
gold digger, you hate me,I admire you,you have a career,you made
history,I remember our meeting at the Met,
your Tosca was beyond words,love,anger,jealousy,you portrayed them all
in your own
unique way,I envied your talent.
MARIA
   Did you like my voice when you first heard it ?
JACKIE
   I didn't,but I was moved,you have a gift,people see the music when
you sing.
MARIA
   I never heard that one before,no wonder Ari fell for you,you know  to
flatter ,what did you tell him the first time you met? It was during that
cruise,your sister Lee orchestrated it,it served her right,she hoped
to marry him.
JACKIE
  You make it sound like we are two mercenaries.
MARIA
   But you are !
 JACKIE

  Miss Callas, I love my son,I want to protect him,they are killing the
Kennedys,sooner than later a stray bullet will end Jon's life, Ari will
give him a safe heaven,Skorpios,this country will be a good place
for them to grow up,I have only him,and Caroline .
MARIA
   You don't love him,how can you  spend the rest of your life with a man
you hardly know.

JACKIE
 I know a good man when I see one

MARIA
     You know a rich man when you see one

JACKIE
  Miss Callas,I was hoping to have a friendly chat
MARIA

  How can I be friendly with someone who destroys my life,he is the
man I love,I gave up my career for him,I wanted him to be the father of my
twins
JACKIE
 You gave up your career when you had no voice left, you met Ari at the
right time, had you met him when you were the queen at La Scala,you would





















TEA AND SYMPATHY
10 August 1970

She did well to marry him, he is as handsome as Cresus, I wish them
well the worst, La Callas casts a spell ,see what will happen.
We met a second time,the day Ari kicked me out,my last day on the Christina.
It was not a set-up,Ari is sadistic but he would not dare that one.
An encounter that I wished it never happened,I was at the airport with
Larry waiting for the first flight out of Greece and there she was in
the VIP Lounge.It was four in the afternoon,Larry ordered  English Tea,cucumber and smoked salmon sandwiches,scones with clotted cream, Battenberg cake, all served on a tiered stand, very proper,very British,couldn't eat a thing nor she.

JACKIE
   Miss Callas, I understand your anger,I heard what you said ,the
gold digger, you hate me,I admire you,you have a career,you made
history,I remember our meeting at the Met,your Tosca was beyond words,love,anger,jealousy,you portrayed them all in your own unique way,I envied your talent.
MARIA
  You can sing,did you like my voice when you first heard it ?
JACKIE
   I didn't,but I was moved,you have a gift,people see the music when
you sing.
MARIA
   I never heard that one before,no wonder Ari fell for you,you know  to
flatter ,what did you tell him the first time you met? It was during that
cruise,your sister Lee orchestrated it,it served her right,she hoped
to marry him.
JACKIE
  You make it sound like we are two mercenaries.
MARIA
   But you are !
 JACKIE

  Miss Callas, I love my son,I want to protect him,they are killing the
Kennedys,sooner than later a stray bullet will end Jon's life, Ari will
give him a safe heaven,Scorpios,this country will be a good place
for them to grow up,I have only him,and Caroline .
MARIA
   You don't love him,how can you  spend the rest of your life with a man
you hardly know.

JACKIE
 I know a good man when I see one

MARIA
     You know a rich man when you see one

JACKIE
  Miss Callas,I was hoping to have a friendly chat
MARIA

  How can I be friendly with someone who destroys my life,he is the
man I love,I gave up my career for him,I wanted him to be the father of my
twins
JACKIE
 You gave up your career when you had no voice left, you met Ari at the
right time, had you met him when you were the queen at La Scala,you would
not have given him a second look,you used Mr.Meneghini to become la
Callas,you used Ari  to be queen of the Jet Set,you are an ambitious
lady,vous avez la Folie des Grandeurs


MARIA
 You speak French now ?
JACKIE
 My French is as good as yours, I don't sing Carmen so ,didn't you
take him  from his wife ?,

MARIA
 Tina was leaving him
JACKIE

He is leaving you,nine years,the same time he spent with his wife

MARIA

 He is a collector of famous women, he will dump you sooner or later,
you won't last nine years

JACKIE
Then wish me luck,and who said I don't love him ? Who,you ?
Who are you, a nightingale with no  voice left












J

CARNAL KNOWLEDGE

CARNAL KNOWLEDGE : EMPRISE  POSSESSION
   December 1968


--- You can do better than that,Franco says    
Onassis was twenty three years older,short,overweight,scary looking,a
pirate,and very,very rich.I didn't go after his money,had my own.
After the Paris Opera Gala he chased me all over Europe,that's
was fine with me,I already made up my mind ,he will be his, wanted to be his woman.
  Sex with Ari was an out of the world experience,I believe in all
things psychic,in a spirit world,in life after life.Ari was a sex
demon ,I became a slave under his spell.
When he no longer cared for my body,I became part of the furniture,a
decoration for his yacht, he couldn't run away,I was possessed.

--- He destroyed your life,voice,career
Biki said the day he married Jackie .---It doesn't matter, he enriched my life.

JE NE SUIS PAS UNE PUTAIN

  OPERA DE PARIS,19 DECEMBER 1958 

 

--- If I get that woman for myself, the world will be impressed,Niarchos can drop dead,for what I care.

 

After The Paris recital,Ari was determined to seduce La Callas,doesn't care for music or opera,only love famous divas,I became his new obsession, his folly.
La Callas,whatever people say or think is not a home breaker, Tina was leaving him,had enough after ten years of marriage.

 

--- We have planned a summer cruise,the Greek Isles,with Sir Winston and Lady Churchill 
--- I can't,I have Medea at Covent Garden
--- I will be there,I love opera

He could not care less about music,after Medea he threw the party of the year,at the most exclusive London Hotel,Lady Churchill,Alexandra of Kent ,Gary Cooper and the Who is Who of London

I was won over,the man, his money,the way he spent it,knew  that my greatest years were over,a new kingdom was offered to me,Callas Queen of the Jet Set,a photograph at the Savoy said it all, was embraced by Ari and

Titta,Ari my future facing me,Titta holding my back.Ari could not care less for my reputation.

Je ne suis pas une putain, was not after his money,had my own,I was under the emprise,possessed by his energy field,a slave under his spell,the man radiated sexual energy.

MUSICALITY

I have it.

 Arthur Rubinstein says that musicality is the capability to make people see the music,mine is

that and much more,music triggers something in me ,when I hear the melodies I enter another dimension, the kingdom of sound,I take you with me,either you listen to my records or see me on stage it's the same,my response to the music,the power I have sets me apart and above .I became a fan after watching Toller Cranston in Innsbruck,his moves bumped off the screen,Mireille Negre from the Paris Opera has it,between two vocations chose God and life in a Cloister,what a great dancer she would have become,had Galina Oulanova's mystique.

 Makarova's Swan Lake at La Cour Carree du Louvre was a many-splendoured thing ,went there night after night,her dancing was beyond word,I suffered Odette' s agonies when Ari married the other woman.

ROMAN HOLIDAY 

 8 June 1960   

 

 

When in Paris the third sunday of the month is Culture day, I take the whole gang to Le Louvre,Europe's largest museum,free admission 1-5 pm .Ferruccio parks aux Tuileries,then we walk,Consuelo,Bruna,Ferruccio take turn babysitting Dixie and Pixie.La Victoire de Samothrace is my destination,Sabrina sings and dances her way to the most famous sculpture in the world,I love her version of Edith Piaf's La Vie en Rose !

 Edith Head's black gown  was for me,ordered one from Biki,Alain Reynaud created a dozen versions year after year,

 I first met Ari at the Lido Ball in Venice,that night I wore the 1957 one.

 Audrey is a natural,and she smiles and what a smile ! In 1953 Roman Holiday changed my destiny,the movie behind my weight loss,I watched it once,twice,the third time in the darkness of the theatre I made my mind to become the Audrey Hepburn of the stage,had a poster in every room,first thing in the morning,last thing at night I looked at it, saw myself as Audrey Hepburn.Talk about things psychic and visualization, it works.

 

I love Audrey,my favorite is" Breakfast at Tiffany's",read somewhere that Truman Capote wrote the script for Marilyn Monroe who turned it down  

--- Don't want to be another call girl,not again 

 What a loss,Audrey was fabulous,Marilyn would have been as fabulous but different

During her lifetime she was mocked as a brainless blonde,after her death was voted by the Academy as the 7th greatest comedienne of all times.

I have a bond with Marilyn ,we are victimized beyond human endurance by the press.After my death they will give me the credit, the greatest in the history of music,that is what I am.

I LOST WEIGHT FOR THE LOVE OF MUSIC

I lost weight because I want to be beautiful, La Fatsa they call me,I want to be the supreme Norma and Lucia,the

greatest Violetta of all times,it's ridiculous to weight one hundred kilos and sing Medea. 

I had a tapeworm,the cause of poor elimination,food poisoning,which caused chronic fatigue, mood swings,mental fog.

I met Fatima at the Arena,a psychic reader and herbalist from Bucarest,came to Italy after the war,set her  business under the Ponte di Pietra ,the historic Stone Wall Bridge built by the Romans near the Arena  where she read the Tarot and sells her herbs.

--- I want to lose weight,always tired, don't want to lose my voice,I am a singer
--- I know who you are,the singer from America,your voice has power and feelings,I listen to everyone every night,I have the best seat,and it's free.
--- Can you help me ?
--- I sure can,first you need to get rid of your toxins,it will improve your blood circulation,you will have more energy

 and trust me ,your skin problems will go away,I shall do my best,come back in two weeks.

 I came back six years later, was busy with other things and the new men in my new life, Titta Meneghini,Tullio Serafin and Ferruccio Cusinati.

--- Remember me,I was here some time ago 

--- I remember, you are the demented soprano, what do you want now  ?

--- The same thing,loose weight,more energy, my skin problems didn't go away   

--- Of course not ,you have to do something , come back in two weeks,don't forget this time !

 I sent Bruna 

--- Tell la Madame,has to take them everyday,the drink and the herbs spread. 

They worked ,I got rid of the tapeworm, my fat melt away,lost thirty kilos in six months, my skin problems cleared and had much energy,I came back for more

--- It's fabulous,the spread tastes so good, I have it on Italian bread all day, every day,what is it ?

--- It's my own formula, usually don't give it away,you are a singer you won't compete with me,I got it from my own grandma,it's fresh garlic and ginger,parsley and red cayenne, I grow my own parsley and garlic,everything is chopped,marinated in olive oil and warmed under the sun for ten days, the oil comes from Sirmione, the best in the world,they have their own grove,my son works there.

After two months I got rid of a the toenia worm,the culprit of my blood poisoning,chronic fatigue ,had more energy,my mind,thinking and complexion cleared up ,lost weight,my body fat melted away.

--- It's a miracle ,it works
--  Of course ,the garlic asphyxiated the beast,expulsed it,cayenne and ginger improve your circulation,the parsley is for energy,a powerhouse of vitamins and minerals.

Fatima is the unsung heroine of the new Callas.

--- I want ten jars,will it keep ?

--- It will,has garlic and cayenne.

V DAYS : C NIGHTS :ANNA BOLENA

ANNA BOLENA  :CALLAS  NIGHTS
4 April 1957

I was determined,a role and nights that remain in the history of music,my V Days.C Nights.It happened to be Anna Bolena,Luchino's Traviata and Sonnambula were sublime,but not good enough,they were near genius. 

From the first rehearsal I knew that Visconti's fourth production at La Scala was going to be it, The conductor was Gianandrea Gavazzeni ,Giulietta Simionato sang Jane Seymour,Nicola Benois' designs were magnificent,"all shades of greys to complement music and drama'.Gaetano Donizetti wrote Bolena  for me,it premiered on 26 December 1830 at the Teatro Carcano in Milan and died a natural death,for Bolena you need a soprano that act and sing with her voice,body and soul.Before me there was none,apres moi le deluge.

Bolena's final days,a mother in despair,a woman dies in the hands of the man who swore her eternal love.She was history,I wanted to do her justice,pride and splendour in everything Anna did.I prayed,opened my channels,felt the emprise,the power within me,acted with fury,beyond anyone's imagination.

Obsessed by day, possessed by night, I sang and made history:my Bolenas belong to the history of Opera.

LA CALLAS AT THE LOUVRE

LA CALLAS,LA JOCONDE,LA VENUS DE MILO AT THE LOUVRE
10 November 1968

 A letter from Franco Zeffirelli
--- My heart bled for you,'' Remember that the theatre of the world is
wider than" Ari's boat.

Franco's own version of Mary Queen of Scots' last words on the eve of her execution.
Goes on with his sweet obsession,a Traviata movie.

---Maria darling,last night I dreamt,I dreamt of our Traviata,no one
but you can sing and act and do justice to Verdi's.The time is now,"our
film will go around the world,to distant and forgotten places,from the
Congo to Patagonia,I want everyone to see it,you will be
immortal,future generations will have what Eleanora Duse and Sarah
Bernhardt could not leave.Give me that chance,I promise you will be at
The Louvre,La Callas ,La Venus de Milo and La Joconde".

I cried, If Ari could love me the way Franco and Luchino do.